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Rating: 3.5 stars

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shout! factory

All movies seen on 11/12/2010

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Barbarian Queen (1985)

Directed by Héctor Olivera

Fantasy

Most recently watched by sleestakk

Overview

Set during the days of the Roman Empire. A simple village is raided by Roman troops, and most of the people are whisked off to be slaves or killed. Three women survive and set off to liberate their people. When they arrive at the Roman city, they team up with the local underground to seek vengeance and liberation of the slaves

Rated R | Length 72 minutes

Actors

Lana Clarkson | Katt Shea | Frank Zagarino | Dawn Dunlap | Susana Traverso | Victor Bo | Armando Capo | Andrea Barbieri | Tony Middleton | Andrea Scriven | Roberto Catarineu | Matilde Mur | Eddie Pequenino | Patrick Duggan | Lucy Tiller | Ivan Grey | Theodore McNabney | Ricardo Jordán | John Head | Daniel Seville | Eva Adonaylo | Enrique Fynn | Grace Castle | Luis Alday | Norman Friedman | Alexander Essex | Daniel Ripari | Alfredo Alesandrini | Arturo Noal

Viewing History (seen 1 time)

Viewing Notes

This is the most amazing poster of any bottom-of-the-barrel 80s Sword & Sorcery flick I’ve seen.  I mean, if you were 16 back in 1985, you’d have this on your wall, too, right?!

If Barbarian Queen is even half as awesome as the poster makes it look, it’d have to be pretty badass, right? Right?!

Well, while Barbarian Queen doesn’t live up to the awesomeness of the poster, it still is pretty awesome and a total guilty pleasure.

What make Barbarian Queen awesome:

*A James Horner score!
*Badass women must rescue wimpy prince.
*These women may have been through a battle, but they had time to throw on some lip gloss.
*The boobies tally exceeds The Warrior and the Sorceress.
*These women are smart and realize most men think with their dicks, therefore many a man dies while thinking he’ll get laid.

My only mark against this movie is that the filmakers insist that each woman gets raped just to show us how evil the men are in this film.  Really, I got the point after the first rape.  However, there’s a pretty amazing scene later on in the movie where one of our Barbarian Queen traps a man’s penis in her vagina by flexing her vagina. Really.  It happens. I blame cocaine and the 80’s.

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