Movielogr
Transformers: Dark of the Moon (2011)
Directed by Michael Bay
Twitter Facebook Google+Most recently watched by sleestakk, sensoria, squeegull, elisabethwithns, seanCduregger, noahphex, jenerator
Overview
The Autobots continue to work for NEST, now no longer in secret. But after discovering a strange artifact during a mission in Chernobyl, it becomes apparent to Optimus Prime that the United States government has been less than forthright with them.
Rated PG-13 | Length 154 minutes
Actors
Shia LaBeouf | Josh Duhamel | John Turturro | Tyrese Gibson | Rosie Huntington-Whiteley | Frances McDormand | John Malkovich | Patrick Dempsey | Kevin Dunn | Julie White | Ken Jeong | Alan Tudyk | Glenn Morshower | Lester Speight | Buzz Aldrin | Bill O'Reilly | Ravil Isyanov | Dustin Dennard | Markiss McFadden | Nick Bickle | Ajay James | Brett Lynch | Chris A. Robinson | Scott C. Roe | James D. Weston II | Brian Call | Aaron Garrido | Mikal Vega | Kenny Sheard | Josh Kelly | Keiko Agena | LaMonica Garrett | Yasen Peyankov | Brett Stimely | John H. Tobin | Drew Pillsbury | Patrick Pankhurst | Larry Clarke | Tom Virtue | Thomas Crawford | Kevin Sizemore | Alan Pietruszewski | Michael Daniel Cassady | Peter Murnik | Don Jeanes | Cory Tucker | Lindsey Ginter | David St. James | Mitch Bromwell | Elya Baskin | Eugene Alper | Inna Korobkina | Zoran Radanovich | Kathleen Gati | Annie O'Donnell | Chris Sheffield | Ken Takemoto | Michael Loeffelholz | Mindy Sterling | Stephen Monroe Taylor | Andrew Daly | Derek Miller | Leidy Mazo | Scott Krinsky | Katherine Sigismund | Maile Flanagan | Darren O'Hare | Jack Axelrod | Rich Hutchman | Meredith Monroe | Charlotte Labadie | Christian Baha | Jennifer Williams | Danielle Fornarelli | Danny McCarthy | John Turk | Peter A Kelly | Mark Golden | Sean Murphy | Scott Paulson | Luis Echagarruga | Iqbal Theba | Anthony Azizi | Sammy Sheik | Mark Ryan | John S. McAfee | Jay Gates | Rebecca Cooper | Peter Cullen | Hugo Weaving | Leonard Nimoy | Jess Harnell | Charlie Adler | Robert Foxworth | James Remar | Francesco Quinn | George Coe | Tom Kenny | Reno Wilson | Frank Welker | Ron Bottitta | John DiMaggio | Keith Szarabajka | Greg Berg
Viewing History (seen 1 time)
| Date Viewed | Device | Format | Source | Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| 01/15/2012 | TV | Blu-ray | Rented | 2 stars |
| (Average) 2 stars |
Viewing Notes
Though I loved the first movie, the testicles swinging from the Constructicons, the inane Rastacons, and the Decepticon that transforms into a Mountain Dew vending machine from REVENGE OF THE FALLEN completely turned me off wanting to see DARK OF THE MOON. I should’ve stayed away.
From a cast only comprised of annoying characters (aside from Duhamel, surprisingly), to plot holes that I’ve since washed out of my brain with moonshine, this film is a complete a mess end-to-end aside from one thing: the Plot Twist. I quite appreciated that, since it’s one of the few highlights of the otherwise inspid script that doesn’t go far enough to explain why it would make sense. So, I just filled in the details in my head and drew some pretty pictures with my Crayons and made it make more sense.
That Michael Bay sure knows how to lay out an action spectacle, but DOTM is an incredibly stupid fucking movie that begs so hard to be mocked it might as well be paying me in sex I wouldn’t have with it. I have it from well-placed sources in Hollywood that Bay didn’t even bother to read anything in Ehren Kruger’s gawdawful script that didn’t involve hot women or explosions. And since there aren’t any hot women in this movie for him to slowly pan the camera over, that leaves us DARK OF THE MOON: a film that makes me lament for what could’ve been, if Michael Bay weren’t so incredibly inept.
Post-script: Why does Bumblebee still talk in media clips? I seem to recall that his voice was restored at the end of the first movie with an illogical British accent.
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