Movielogr

Rating: 1 star

All movies seen on 11/14/2011

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Bitch Slap (2009)

Directed by Rick Jacobson

Action

Most recently watched by noahphex

Overview

Three bad girls - a down-and-out stripper, a drug-running killer, and a corporate powerbroker - arrive at a remote desert hideaway to extort and steal $200 million in diamonds from a ruthless underworld kingpin.

Rated R | Length 109 minutes

Actors

Julia Voth | Erin Cummings | America Olivo | Lucy Lawless | Zoe Bell | William Gregory Lee | Michael Hurst | Kevin Sorbo | Renee O'Connor | Ron Melendez | Minae Noji | Dennis Keiffer | Debbie Lee Carrington | Robert Mammana | Jim Klock | Danny Nero | Christine Nguyen | Krystal Badia | Carlo Mendez | Sabine Varnes | Eurlyne Epper | Justin Kornmann | Brian Peck | Carla Collins | Astrid Swan | Bianca Barnett | Aisha Cain | Karen Austin | Jennifer Miller | Rick Jacobson | Mark Lutz | Scott Hanley | Eric Gruendemann | Saranne Lund | Kalin Keech | Carmen Jimenez | Rich Kirby | Paul Karami | Katelyne Friedman | Lia Wagner | Daniel Cieplinski | Tyrone Power Jr. | Steve Barker | Gary La Guard | Tony Gardne | Michael Belasco | Thaddeus

Viewing History (seen 1 time)

Viewing Notes

Promo blurbs for BITCH SLAP describe it as a “thinking man’s throwback” to exploitation films. If “thinking man” means a movie not much smarter and less good-bad fun than your average Andy Sidaris film, then it’s exactly right.

I didn’t expect much out of this one, so the high quality of the fight choreography surprised me; kudos there. But, the director’s heroin gimme-gimme addiction to the slow-mo effect is mind-numbing and weakens the sheer brutality that could’ve been; it might as well have been called HEY WE’RE PUNCHING SLOWLY: THE MOVIE.

As expected, the acting was atrocious and something someone should be bitch slapped for even thinking to write home about; all three of the main actresses would’ve been perfect for SMALLVILLE, however. Though, had I been given the groan-worthy, laughable dialogue, I probably wouldn’t have put much effort into it either. Sidenote: I’m not sure the writers could’ve packed in another metaphor or analogy into Camero’s dialogue; it’s like they were channeling Chloe Sullivan.

While I really appreciated certain plot points, the worst and foremost problem with BITCH SLAP is that the film can’t figure out if it wants to be an AUSTIN POWERS-esque send up or a legitimate sexplotation flick. It goes from legitimate bloody revenge to BENNY HILL and back again in the blink of an eye, but with an obnoxious butt-rock soundtrack holding place instead of “Yackety Sax.” The result is a mess of tributes to other films that never strikes its own identity. Without a firm foot planted in either ground BITCH SLAP trips and falls badly.

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