Movielogr

Valentine (2001)

Directed by Jamie Blanks

Horror

Most recently watched by sleestakk, zombiefreak

Overview

Four friends start to receive morbid Valentine cards and realise they are being stalked by someone they had spurned 13 years ago. A masked killer is on the loose and Valentine’s day is soon approaching.

Rated R | Length 96 minutes

Actors

Denise Richards | David Boreanaz | Marley Shelton | Jessica Capshaw | Jessica Cauffiel | Katherine Heigl | Fulvio Cecere | Hedy Burress | Daniel Cosgrove | Johnny Whitworth | Woody Jeffreys | Adam J. Harrington | Claude Duhamel | Wyatt Page | Benita Ha | Paul Magel | Haig Sutherland | Adrian Holmes | Ty Olsson | Daniel Boileau | Noel Fisher | G. Patrick Currie | Jo-Ann Fernandes | Joel Palmer

Viewing History (seen 1 time)

Date ViewedDeviceFormatSourceRating
04/08/2010N/ADVDRented2 stars
 

Viewing Notes

Valentine couldn’t be a more generic slasher. A young man at a Valentine’s school party is asking every young, pretty girl to dance and they all call him names, turn him down and mock him. Then he finally gets the chubby girl to talk to him and they end up making out under the bleachers when 2 popular guys find them and the girl says he attacked her. He then gets the Carrie treatment with a bowl of punch, his nose bleeds and we cut to the future where everyone is beautiful and then they get offed one by one after receiving Valentines.

Cut from the exact same mold as every other 10 Little Indians based slasher, Valentine really brings nothing new at all to the table except maybe a killer in a cupid mask who’s nose bleeds. Hell, Terror Train had masks and they were far more effective.

Even the kills in this movie are completely lame and the big reveal at the end is a fart in the wind.

The movie itself is competently enough made, however, it’s just hindered by a boring script. You do get a lot of cute girls, but no nudity since we’re dealing with the likes of Denise Richards who gave her all in Wild Things but probably didn’t get the dough to take it off for this. David Boreanz is also starring, and while I like him in Bones, his role here is nothing special.

All in all, this is a total 2 star movie.

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